Possibly The Worst Day Ever....
12:51 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
I came back to work nearly in tears today. I had a waxing appointment at my hairstylist's, and sure, you're probably wincing, thinking 'Oh god, I know that feeling' well, the wax, though was painful, was not the reason for my rarely seen displays of emotion.
My hairstylist is a very conservitave woman who, though claims to have had plenty of gay friends, and known plenty of gay people, can not keep her mouth shut about the subject of gay people when I'm around. I came out to my mom as a bisexual when I was thirteen or fourteen while we were baking together to which she replied with something like "Well, if that's what you like." And though I had no responsibility to come out to my hairstylist, I did last year. I was tired of hearing about her stupid anti-gay ideas, and for some reason thought if she knew I was openly a bisexual, and interested in girls she would shut up for once.... I was wrong.
When I did come out to her all I got was a lecture about why she believes its wrong, and she exlained the reproductive system to me. Like I didn't learn that in fourth grade I'm sure.
Well, today I went in there, and about 3/4 through the way of my waxing a friend of her's from her church cam in, and she hadn't really sad any anti-gay stuff that day, so I was thinking, hey, one trip where I don't feel like she's trying to brainwash me, or convince me the reason she's so anti-gay is because of all the times butch lesbiens have hit on her- even now, which I really don't see. She's an average woman, and though my tastes in women are pretty loose, I could never see myself even thinking about her that way.
Anyways, her fiend gets there, and she starts on some stuff about when her son was in jail (the one she would always say "You think he's cute, right?" yeah. Because I dig delinquints), with this kid who had shot a gay kid in his school because the gay kid was constantly hitting, and molesting the straight kid to the point where the straight kid thought he had no other choice but to shoot him. The way she painted it out was so that the killer was a saint, hurt, and scared by the evil, nasty gay kid. I nearly threw up right then and there.
She says the gay kid- Oh, you'll love this bloggers- she refused to call them 'The gay kid, and the straight kid' she called them 'the hetro' and... god it hurts even typing it. 'The Hetro' and 'The Fag' "for lack of a better word" because "her head was foggy" shit woman, I'm on antibiodics, and I feel stoned for hours because of them, but the moment I heard her say that word, it was like a thosand knifes being stabbed into my heart. Sure, friends and I have called each other that before, but we say it in jest, the way she said it was enough to make me feel physically sick for the rest of the day.
She said the gay kid was wearing dresses, and living at a foster care home, and the parrents had to buy him dresses because the government made them do whatever the child wanted. They couldn't get real help for his- as she calls it- his 'Identity Crisis'. She claimed the hetro kid had gone to the school, and the school said that telling him to stop, or enforcing him to stop in any way would be a 'hate crime'. She Also says that if he went to the police to file a report, that that would be a hate crome too, and he would be expelled from school for it. I tried to say something there, something about how that wasn't true, how it's against the law, but she immediatly cut me off, as I started to sit up saying this wasn't, and couldn't be true. "No, no, no," she said. "We hetros have different rights then-" I silenced her by snapping at her "I am NOT hetro."
When I tried to change the subject, my voice harsh, and bitter she grew silent for a few moments, before I tried to talk about something else I had heard about happening in Hollywood. As I sat up to go, she stopped me, and tried, yet again to make me understand where she was coming from. I will never understand why a woman would want to clarify why that child was killed. She had no right bringing it up in front of me, and I literally was fuming with rage when I got back to the store, screaming at my step-dad everything she had said to me, ignoring the signle customer who I could tell was listening, I apologized to him, which he shrugged, trying to pretend he hadn't heard it.
I can tell you one thing, I will NEVER step foot in there again, that was by far the worst situation I've ever been in, usually I can take whatever anti-gay stuff she says in strides, brush it off, but this was below the belt. I felt like I was going to throw up, and even now- 9 hours after the incident my hands are shaking.
Not to mention the fact that she is trying to run a buisness. I have had to contain myself so many times when people who are conservitave, or religious come into the store and talk about their thoughts, and their religions, usually I just keep my mouth shut, and nod, or I politely say "Well, I see things differently." but I have never- NEVER intentionally said something like that in the presence of a customer. I would never say "God damn I think that all straight people and republicans suck." in front of all the repulicans or straight people I know. Because I know plenty of them, and they know me, and plenty of them know about me.
I don't know if my depression has sunk this far in a long time, but she has single handedly made me think about suicide again. I would never actually go through with commiting suicide, but I want her to know that this is the sort of thing her religious and anti-gay outpour has done. She has no idea what its like. Personally I think she's dumb. I think she's dumb, has no self-controll, no common sense, she's prejudice, and it makes her an honest to god ugly person. Never in my life have I met a person like that who claims to care about me, who claims to be my friend, and honestly, if I ever step foot in that salon again, it is Too Soon. I am never going in there again for fear of doing something I'll regret.
She broke my heart today, and, honestly, I don't know where to go from here.
My hairstylist is a very conservitave woman who, though claims to have had plenty of gay friends, and known plenty of gay people, can not keep her mouth shut about the subject of gay people when I'm around. I came out to my mom as a bisexual when I was thirteen or fourteen while we were baking together to which she replied with something like "Well, if that's what you like." And though I had no responsibility to come out to my hairstylist, I did last year. I was tired of hearing about her stupid anti-gay ideas, and for some reason thought if she knew I was openly a bisexual, and interested in girls she would shut up for once.... I was wrong.
When I did come out to her all I got was a lecture about why she believes its wrong, and she exlained the reproductive system to me. Like I didn't learn that in fourth grade I'm sure.
Well, today I went in there, and about 3/4 through the way of my waxing a friend of her's from her church cam in, and she hadn't really sad any anti-gay stuff that day, so I was thinking, hey, one trip where I don't feel like she's trying to brainwash me, or convince me the reason she's so anti-gay is because of all the times butch lesbiens have hit on her- even now, which I really don't see. She's an average woman, and though my tastes in women are pretty loose, I could never see myself even thinking about her that way.
Anyways, her fiend gets there, and she starts on some stuff about when her son was in jail (the one she would always say "You think he's cute, right?" yeah. Because I dig delinquints), with this kid who had shot a gay kid in his school because the gay kid was constantly hitting, and molesting the straight kid to the point where the straight kid thought he had no other choice but to shoot him. The way she painted it out was so that the killer was a saint, hurt, and scared by the evil, nasty gay kid. I nearly threw up right then and there.
She says the gay kid- Oh, you'll love this bloggers- she refused to call them 'The gay kid, and the straight kid' she called them 'the hetro' and... god it hurts even typing it. 'The Hetro' and 'The Fag' "for lack of a better word" because "her head was foggy" shit woman, I'm on antibiodics, and I feel stoned for hours because of them, but the moment I heard her say that word, it was like a thosand knifes being stabbed into my heart. Sure, friends and I have called each other that before, but we say it in jest, the way she said it was enough to make me feel physically sick for the rest of the day.
She said the gay kid was wearing dresses, and living at a foster care home, and the parrents had to buy him dresses because the government made them do whatever the child wanted. They couldn't get real help for his- as she calls it- his 'Identity Crisis'. She claimed the hetro kid had gone to the school, and the school said that telling him to stop, or enforcing him to stop in any way would be a 'hate crime'. She Also says that if he went to the police to file a report, that that would be a hate crome too, and he would be expelled from school for it. I tried to say something there, something about how that wasn't true, how it's against the law, but she immediatly cut me off, as I started to sit up saying this wasn't, and couldn't be true. "No, no, no," she said. "We hetros have different rights then-" I silenced her by snapping at her "I am NOT hetro."
When I tried to change the subject, my voice harsh, and bitter she grew silent for a few moments, before I tried to talk about something else I had heard about happening in Hollywood. As I sat up to go, she stopped me, and tried, yet again to make me understand where she was coming from. I will never understand why a woman would want to clarify why that child was killed. She had no right bringing it up in front of me, and I literally was fuming with rage when I got back to the store, screaming at my step-dad everything she had said to me, ignoring the signle customer who I could tell was listening, I apologized to him, which he shrugged, trying to pretend he hadn't heard it.
I can tell you one thing, I will NEVER step foot in there again, that was by far the worst situation I've ever been in, usually I can take whatever anti-gay stuff she says in strides, brush it off, but this was below the belt. I felt like I was going to throw up, and even now- 9 hours after the incident my hands are shaking.
Not to mention the fact that she is trying to run a buisness. I have had to contain myself so many times when people who are conservitave, or religious come into the store and talk about their thoughts, and their religions, usually I just keep my mouth shut, and nod, or I politely say "Well, I see things differently." but I have never- NEVER intentionally said something like that in the presence of a customer. I would never say "God damn I think that all straight people and republicans suck." in front of all the repulicans or straight people I know. Because I know plenty of them, and they know me, and plenty of them know about me.
I don't know if my depression has sunk this far in a long time, but she has single handedly made me think about suicide again. I would never actually go through with commiting suicide, but I want her to know that this is the sort of thing her religious and anti-gay outpour has done. She has no idea what its like. Personally I think she's dumb. I think she's dumb, has no self-controll, no common sense, she's prejudice, and it makes her an honest to god ugly person. Never in my life have I met a person like that who claims to care about me, who claims to be my friend, and honestly, if I ever step foot in that salon again, it is Too Soon. I am never going in there again for fear of doing something I'll regret.
She broke my heart today, and, honestly, I don't know where to go from here.
